Timing

​Today as I was scrolling down my Facebook feed I saw a quote that really spoke out to me and I bet at least all of us can relate to. I usually don’t go on Facebook anymore, all I see on there is advertising, clickbait articles and “news.” The only interesting content on there is memes and quotes, let’s be honest. Well anyways the quote that I could relate to is the following: “The most fucked up joke life with play on you is letting you meet the right person at wrong time.” What a joke indeed.

Timing is everything. She’s into you and you’re into her. You might be making all the right moves, taking all the hints, and taking your time to really know her but it all it comes down to timing. Both of you are to be on the same page, know what you both want and without baggage from past relationships.

 Many times you and the woman you want hold an amazing connection and your vibes resonate with each other but she scared to trust again. For some reason it always happens that when a good guy comes along their path women seem to push them away. Perhaps that is not always the case, good guys do get the girl. A reason could be it just wasn’t the right time to start something. 

We need to break the cycle of good guys getting fucked over by a girl because then they turn into fuckboys. If you’re not into him don’t lead them on and guys don’t let a woman change the way you are. I been fucked over time over time and yet I’m still me, I don’t let that change my personality. I will probably dedicate a post on this topic further along the line.

When the timing is not right many times we still decide on being exclusive to a woman and wait for that right time to occur. The hardest choice a guy can make is whether to keep trying or letting go, it sucks being in that position, I been there countless times. You overthink and assume. Two dangerous actions. You either keep her as a friend or move on.

Being someone’s friend when you want more is hard, you may have a slight chance for it to evolve into something more or you could end up getting hurt in the process. Although this takes consistency and patience, your other option is letting go which is probably the most real G shit out there. 

In your eyes she was the right woman for you. Did you stop and think that you probably weren’t the right guy for her at least not at the time. Think about it.

To Give And To Expect?

​Give without expectations. Give because you truly want to and not because it will get her to like you more. So you’re the type of guy that likes giving everything he’s got when getting to know a girl. By giving I mean being nice to her, giving her gifts, buying her food (I would suggest tacos, because tacos are life) or teaching her something new. Do it because you want to and not because you expect something in return. 

This post is dedicated to a girl I used to like the first two years of college. I would always do things for her like correct her essays, buy her food when she was stressed, and walked her to class. I did those acts in hopes of getting her to see me with different eyes. I did the mistake of ignoring her for a good year because I was madly crazy for her, yet she saw me as a friend. I was lucky enough that even after I made her feel like shit and acted like a total asshole, she still decided to be my friend. She still reminds me how I was so immature for acting like I didn’t know her especially when I would see her on campus. I curse myself because dafuq was I thinking. 

We recently had a conversation about relationships and did a little catching up, since she was being a stranger -_-. I don’t know how it came up but we started talking about nice guys. She told me she had a guy friend who would do things for her to get her attention. She really appreciated his generosity and acts of giving. Like if you bought her French Fries she would not think twice about it, she would have destroyed those poor potatoes. Later she found out that the guy friend had the hots for her but she only saw him as a friend. Homie got discouraged and said to her “You used me for my niceness.” This is taking into consideration that she never asked for any of it, it was all his idea. As a giver just because you do all these acts of giving doesn’t mean they have to like you back. 

Guys don’t make this mistake you are only giving yourself false hope and a bad illusion. Be nice but don’t expect for them to reciprocate those same acts back. If they do then hey that’s awesome they are giving things to you. Don’t go thinking they like you either. The worst mistake you can do is to be nice and give her things only to get her and then become a stranger out of the blue. Don’t be like I was, don’t be an asshole.

I am a giver myself, I can’t deny that. I like giving out to people it makes me feel good about myself. Even then I have to know that I’m not always going to get anything in return. When I’m interested in someone new I give it my all but I am learning to control that. It’s good to give but to a certain extent. You don’t wanna bombard her with these acts that it makes you seem needy or pushy. Guys learn to keep your cool and don’t always try to go out of your way to find an opportunity to give a woman something. If a chance presents itself go for it but give without expectations.

Underlying Issues

​To really know a woman is to know them from within and not just what you see on the outside. You may think that you know everything about her but truth is you never really know them completely. There is always a part of each woman that is not known by many; it is locked away in a safe and only opens up to worthy individuals. 

So you meet a woman and you’re getting to know each other. You hang out a couple of times, you talk to each other constantly, and she laughs at your jokes. You have a good connection overall. You might think man this is going pretty good. I might actually have a shot with her, not the drinking kind but would have been nice too.

You get to the point where you need to do something about what you are feeling before it becomes an issue. So you tell her confidently how you feel and you get hit with the.. I see you as a friend or the I’m not ready for anything serious. It’s basically every guy’s worst nightmare. As a guy you might immediately think ohh she’s playing hard to get and wants me to put in work that is not always the case. 

Sometimes it’s so easy to judge a book by their cover without knowing their underlying issues. In other words you don’t know what they are dealing with. They might be happy on the outside but who knows what’s going on inside. You know how they say women don’t need to be understood, only loved. Well I think that’s looking at things one-sided. There is always two sides of a story. Perhaps they need to be understood to some extent to know where they are coming from. They might have their reasons for not wanting anything serious.

Perhaps a relationship is out of the question because they need to fix those underlying issues. They could also be playing it safe or they truly see you as a friend. It is also girl code for not interested. Get the memo. Or simply put there is just no attraction, face it attraction plays a major factor in getting to know someone. Sometimes you have to read between the lines and don’t get it twisted. The worst thing you can do is ruin a good friendship over feelings. Don’t worry if you did, I’ve done it in the past, it just serves as a lesson that you just can’t make someone see you the way you see them.

You can handle this one of two ways. You can either accept the situation, be their friend and stick around. Just because they don’t see you with the same eyes doesn’t mean you should go and change, girls have a sixth sense and they know when that happens. So don’t go changing and don’t drop off the face of the earth either.

Or you can do something about the situation. If you truly can’t be friends be upfront and tell them that being friends might not be a such a good idea. They might or might not understand. Sometimes you have to be honest and true to yourself.