Illusions

My mother once told me in Spanish “Necesitas una ilusión mijo, algo que te motive” which meant “You need an illusion son, something that will motivate you.” It was her way to lift up my spirit when I was feeling down and anxious. I asked why she had said that because illusions can deceive us. Tricking us into feeling a certain way and seeing things a certain way, I just didn’t understand her at the moment. All I knew was that illusions were negative and unreal.

Later it hit me because without knowing I indeed had an illusion; an illusion over a woman. Now this is a different type of illusion and I thought to myself  about how an illusion like this can either be positive or negative. It can go one of two ways: It can be a man’s downfall or a reason to better himself. An illusion over a woman can cause you to overthink situations that are clear as water but you keep creating ripples every time you create different outcomes in your head. This was true about me. I would overthink too much even over the smallest of things such as responding to a text message from a woman that I was particularly interested in.

We all have had positive and negative illusions especially in love life. I’ve had a taste of both, heck they are probably reading this so why not talk about it briefly. My first illusion over a woman was also my first real heartbreak. I was broken. I would always try to find the reason why everything went wrong but it was just me overthinking the situation. Jealousy and not being myself were my worst enemies and in the end I lost a friend. My second illusion reignited me and gave me perspective. She made me realize that I was genuinely a real person. Someone who knew what he wanted and unafraid to say it, unfortunately we were on different paths. She didn’t see me the way I saw her but in the end I gained a friend and boost of confidence. No matter how we ended up I will always remember the lessons that I learned through my two illusions.

An illusion over a woman can push you constantly and keep that spark in your eyes or tear you down and that spark is blown away by the wind. An illusion over a woman can open up your heart and mind but sometimes the balance of these two gets out of hand; there’s no equilibrium.Your heart feels too much that you don’t think. You think too much that you don’t listen to your heart and do what feels right. An illusion over a woman can either help you make decisions that you will be proud of or plain stupid decisions.

Perhaps every man needs a positive illusion in his life that will push him to get up and conquer the world. Illusions aren’t all bad. An illusion over a woman can be a man’s downfall or a reason to better himself, him and only him can make that choice.

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